ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAM

[Mark in Az]

HERE ARE (8) NEED TO KNOW FACTS:

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are
gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and
doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has
a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed.
And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said
get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a
cat..."Bun-bun,come to daddy, Snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be
framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks
on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled
pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El
Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world
is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one
in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full of
aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe
Latte with Skim "and he will never, ever know what artificial
sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've
had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types
of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass.
A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of
that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major
league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out
chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you
can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying
to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to
honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the
time he needs that and to change the radio station, eat a hamburger,
hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le
Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is
with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in
SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to
fags when they Flame out too quickly.

[grumpy]

[QUOTE=Mark in Az]HERE ARE (8) NEED TO KNOW FACTS:

from the title I was afraid you might be questiioniing yourself :rofl: :lmao:

[Mark in Az]

Nah, it's for our friend JV, he apprears to have 'flamed out'

[FAUX X 4]

"SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to
fags when they Flame out too quickly."

So that's what happened to JV! ;)

[RedRunnertc]

Anyone send this to AngryAndy? :rofl:

[gambrinus]

Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full of aroma.

Just the way I like my women...

[Captkirkyota]

>>>>6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types
of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass.<<<<

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v420/captkirkyota/Laughinglizard.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v420/captkirkyota/temp/lol.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v420/captkirkyota/temp/chairfall.gif

[Stypica]

well shit - I'm totally gay

I never even knew :(

[bentyota]

that was funny!

[TEJASYOTA]

Man those are f-u-n-n-y!


Oh yeah, I am not gay! :)

[AzHobbes]

"well shit - I'm totally gay"


What step did it for you? For Grumpy, it was #2 through #7. Go figure.



AzHobbes

[Stypica]

"well shit - I'm totally gay"


What step did it for you? For Grumpy, it was #2 through #7. Go figure.



AzHobbes

2, 6, 7, 8 - I feel so ashamed =(

but damnit - Amalie was good movie (and Audrey Tautou was *hot* in it)!

[FAUX X 4]

2, 6, 7, 8 - I feel so ashamed =(

but damnit - Amalie was good movie (and Audrey Tautou was *hot* in it)!

Oh, stop, you're turning 3 shades of chartreuse!

[purity]

Audrey Tautou was *hot* in it!
yep. my chica has that movie.

[purity]

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying
to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to
honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the
time he needs that and to change the radio station, eat a hamburger,
hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.
this does not apply to trying to regain control while wheeling. so im good to go:D

[marcince07]

They say that people who make fun of homosexuals are in the closet. It is not appropriate to use the TTORA website to make jokes about minorities. Try to make better use of your time.

[Mark in Az]

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps
went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a
young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to
the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows,
breaking horses, mending fences, I guess I am."

After a short while he asked her what she was.

She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a
lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in
the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems
to make me think of women."

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple
sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a
lesbian."

[FAUX X 4]

They say that people who make fun of homosexuals are in the closet. It is not appropriate to use the TTORA website to make jokes about minorities. Try to make better use of your time.

This was intended for a member of the club in gest........not as a "Gay Bashing" thread. AZ TTORA is a close knit group of guys with thick skin and at times warped humor.

"Nah, it's for our friend JV, he apprears to have 'flamed out'"

[FAUX X 4]

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps
went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a
young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to
the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows,
breaking horses, mending fences, I guess I am."

After a short while he asked her what she was.

She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a
lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in
the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems
to make me think of women."

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple
sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a
lesbian."


I geuss that makes me a lesbian too!! :D

[grumpy]

This was intended for a member of the club in gest........not as a "Gay Bashing" thread. AZ TTORA is a close knit group of guys with thick skin and at times warped humor.

"Nah, it's for our friend JV, he apprears to have 'flamed out'"

as in SHC spontanious homo combustion!!!!! :lmao:

[Heatstroke]

They say that people who make fun of homosexuals are in the closet. It is not appropriate to use the TTORA website to make jokes about minorities. Try to make better use of your time.

Go crawl back under where ever it was you came from. There is a thing in life called humor. I think just about everyone has met, known or is friends with someone who is "gay". Their choice of relationship doesn't exclude them from our personal rights to freedom of speech which happens to include humor. There is no hate intended, implied, stated or otherwise, so shut it and make better use of your time and quit wasting ours.

[FAUX X 4]

Go crawl back under where ever it was you came from. There is a thing in life called humor. I think just about everyone has met, known or is friends with someone who is "gay". Their choice of relationship doesn't exclude them from our personal rights to freedom of speech which happens to include humor. There is no hate intended, implied, stated or otherwise, so shut it and make better use of your time and quit wasting ours.

Down Boy, Down!.............I can understand his point... to an extent, but I also think that people get a bit carried away with the PC :bs: these days...................A little off topic but I think you'll see the point...........has anyone noticed that the "Kool-aid Man" wears trousers now? What is the point of sheltering people to that kind of idiotic level...........I mean come on, that draws more attention to his "Ice Cubes" than ever!!!

[grumpy]

Down Boy, Down!.............I can understand his point... to an extent, but I also think that people get a bit carried away with the PC :bs: these days...................A little off topic but I think you'll see the point...........has anyone noticed that the "Kool-aid Man" wears trousers now? What is the point of sheltering people to that kind of idiotic level...........I mean come on, that draws more attention to his "Ice Cubes" than ever!!!

I think him is a her!!!!! :lmao: I didn't know either till found another postby her. :D

[FAUX X 4]

I think him is a her!!!!! :lmao: I didn't know either till found another postby her. :D

Yet another example of your in-ability to follow a thread..........I was talking to Mike when I said "down boy"..............I even used the quote button! :flipoff4:

[Heatstroke]

Down Boy, Down!.............I can understand his point... to an extent, but I also think that people get a bit carried away with the PC :bs: these days...................A little off topic but I think you'll see the point...........has anyone noticed that the "Kool-aid Man" wears trousers now? What is the point of sheltering people to that kind of idiotic level...........I mean come on, that draws more attention to his "Ice Cubes" than ever!!!

No, he/she made his/her point and so shall I. The topics covered so far aren't anything I haven't already heard from gay people I've known over the years. Get a grip. Besides, gays have way better material about their lifestyle than anything we come up with. I'm sick and tired of everyone being so damn sensative that any thing said or typed needs miles of explanation, clarification, or have pre-empted appologies to try and keep the bleeding hearted pansy types from trying to make another pointless and frivolous law suited type discussion. GOOD GRIEF!! If something as simple as this is taken soooo seriously, I'd truly hate to be around when the "offended" party finds out that Dorothy may have only been dreaming and may not have really gone to Oz. :rolleyes: .

[Heatstroke]

Oh yeah....I don't think I ever remember seeing "Kool-Aid" man with out pants/shorts.

Oh, and I have to agree with "Chandler" from the Tv show Friends with regards to Donald Duck. He doesn't normally wear pants, but when he gets out of the shower he always has a towel wrapped around his waist. What's that all about?

[FAUX X 4]

No, he/she made his/her point and so shall I. The topics covered so far aren't anything I haven't already heard from gay people I've known over the years. Get a grip. Besides, gays have way better material about their lifestyle than anything we come up with. I'm sick and tired of everyone being so damn sensative that any thing said or typed needs miles of explanation, clarification, or have pre-empted appologies to try and keep the bleeding hearted pansy types from trying to make another pointless and frivolous law suited type discussion. GOOD GRIEF!! If something as simple as this is taken soooo seriously, I'd truly hate to be around when the "offended" party finds out that Dorothy may have only been dreaming and may not have really gone to Oz. :rolleyes: .

:lmao: I think that the world is getting far to sensitive about rediculous things...............without a sense of humor we would just be fat, lazy, selfish americans with overpriced health care!

[FAUX X 4]

Oh yeah....I don't think I ever remember seeing "Kool-Aid" man with out pants/shorts.

Oh, and I have to agree with "Chandler" from the Tv show Friends with regards to Donald Duck. He doesn't normally wear pants, but when he gets out of the shower he always has a towel wrapped around his waist. What's that all about?

Before PC'ness took over America...
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i267/FAUX_X_4/Random/Kool-AidMan.jpg

[grumpy]

Yet another example of your in-ability to follow a thread..........I was talking to Mike when I said "down boy"..............I even used the quote button! :flipoff4:

WTF, talk about ability to follow a conversation. I was just adding something or is that what your all butthurt over!!!!! :flipoff1:

[4xClover]

.....has anyone noticed that the "Kool-aid Man" wears trousers now? What is the point of sheltering people to that kind of idiotic level...........I mean come on, that draws more attention to his "Ice Cubes" than ever!!!

Just like the M&M characters...now they have to even wear gloves!

[FAUX X 4]

WTF, talk about ability to follow a conversation. I was just adding something or is that what your all butthurt over!!!!! :flipoff1:
Well then use the quote button correctly............You directed it at my comment as if to correct me! :asshat: :slap:

[4xClover]

Well then use the quote button correctly............You directed it at my comment as if to correct me! :asshat: :slap:

Oh shit...here we go again!!! :eek: :rolleyes:

[FAUX X 4]

Just like the M&M characters...now they have to even wear gloves!

That's ironic considering the whole "Melts in your mouth, not in your hands" campaign!!! :D

[FAUX X 4]

Oh shit...here we go again!!! :eek: :rolleyes:

:xpopcorn:

[Kaistie]

Oh shit...here we go again!!! :eek: :rolleyes:


:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[grumpy]

Well then use the quote button correctly............You directed it at my comment as if to correct me! :asshat: :slap:


no you fuckstick tard!!!! I was just letting you know that she's a she not a he.
I knwo its a very complex and diffucult concept to follow :stfu: :flipoff1:

[grumpy]

Well then use the quote button correctly............You directed it at my comment as if to correct me! :asshat: :slap:

fu

http://www.tacomaterritory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39076

[FAUX X 4]

no you fuckstick tard!!!! I was just letting you know that she's a she not a he.
I knwo its a very complex and diffucult concept to follow :stfu: :flipoff1:

Shemale, Shim, He-she, gender-indecisive, whatever, you seem to have a radar for that kinda stuff..................but what does that have to do with the proper useage of the quote button??? :flipoff4:

[Crash]

They say that people who make fun of homosexuals are in the closet. It is not appropriate to use the TTORA website to make jokes about minorities. Try to make better use of your time.

Noboby here fawking gives a shit what you think.

"It is not appropriate to use the TTORA website to make jokes about minorities."

Who was making jokes about minorities? Go hug a tree and stay out of the AZ board if you are going to have this kind of additude.

[speedemon55]

Down Boy, Down!.............I can understand his point... to an extent, but I also think that people get a bit carried away with the PC :bs: these days...................A little off topic but I think you'll see the point...........has anyone noticed that the "Kool-aid Man" wears trousers now? What is the point of sheltering people to that kind of idiotic level...........I mean come on, that draws more attention to his "Ice Cubes" than ever!!!

right on man there is way too many people in the world today that cant even take a joke anymore and need to pull their panties out of their crack and just live life...... BTW i never noticed before whether or not the koolaid man wore pants

[FAUX X 4]

right on man there is way too many people in the world today that cant even take a joke anymore and need to pull their panties out of their crack and just live life...... BTW i never noticed before whether or not the koolaid man wore pants

I just noticed the other day during a commercial that he was wearing pants and I thought to myself "WTF.....did he always have pants???" I did a little research and discovered that that was a new PC revision to the original...........I don't see the reason for this..........are people that sensitive these days???

[Crash]

I just noticed the other day during a commercial that he was wearing pants and I thought to myself "WTF.....did he always have pants???" I did a little research and discovered that that was a new PC revision to the original...........I don't see the reason for this..........are people that sensitive these days???

Did the pantless Koolaid guy turn you on or something?

[FAUX X 4]

Did the pantless Koolaid guy turn you on or something?

Who let you out of your cage today????

With all this anger and hositlty being projected by you I'm going to go on a limb and say you're not getting any right now.............two words...........Master............Bation! :jack:

[Heatstroke]

Who let you out of your cage today????


Who cares, at least he is speaking up for what is right and not passively sitting around like when there is a run to go on.... DOH!!! :eek: :bitchslap :rofl:

[FAUX X 4]

Who cares, at least he is speaking up for what is right and not passively sitting around like when there is a run to go on.... DOH!!! :eek: :bitchslap :rofl:

oooooooooooooooooooh................"Body Blow, Body Blow........Punch him out!"

[Crash]

Who let you out of your cage today????

With all this anger and hositlty being projected by you I'm going to go on a limb and say you're not getting any right now.............two words...........Master............Bation! :jack:

I'm getting plenty fawkstick! I'm just sick of people sticking thier head into shit that doesn't consern them. That's what got me all fired up today.

[Crash]

Who cares, at least he is speaking up for what is right and not passively sitting around like when there is a run to go on.... DOH!!! :eek: :bitchslap :rofl:

OUCH asshole, That one was low! :D

Where the hell is my Ichiban you owe me? And do you wish to place another bet on the Cards having a better record then the Raiders?

[bentyota]

Noboby here fawking gives a shit what you think.

"It is not appropriate to use the TTORA website to make jokes about minorities."

Who was making jokes about minorities? Go hug a tree and stay out of the AZ board if you are going to have this kind of additude.

do i need to say it
BAN IT/HER/HIM DAN

[Heatstroke]

OUCH asshole, That one was low! :D

Where the hell is my Ichiban you owe me? And do you wish to place another bet on the Cards having a better record then the Raiders?

I actually thought about that over the weekend, I have not forgot. And don't try to pin that on me. I've offered at least a couple different times to pay up but your chain didn't seem long enough to reach the table.
:wiggle: :whip: .... :D

[Crash]

Damn dude, You're full of insults today. :( Name a time, Just as long as it isn't this weekend.

[Heatstroke]

Damn dude, You're full of insults today. :( Name a time, Just as long as it isn't this weekend.


Oh no, do I need to get you a tissue??? :) I'm just wound up today and being more harsh than normal, my appologies if you were headed for the Kleenex box :p :xpfft: :flipoff3: . I'll pm you for a potential time in the not too distant future.

[Crash]

Oh no, do I need to get you a tissue??? :) I'm just wound up today and being more harsh than normal, my appologies if you were headed for the Kleenex box :p :xpfft: :flipoff3: . I'll pm you for a potential time in the not too distant future.


LOL :flipoff4:

[grumpy]

Shemale, Shim, He-she, gender-indecisive, whatever, you seem to have a radar for that kinda stuff..................but what does that have to do with the proper useage of the quote button??? :flipoff4:


radar for- :bs: wh ybecause I happened to see a thread on the main brd? :stfu: AS I stated before, I was only making you aware of their gender, thats all. If you continue to find it necessary to badger on that, be my guest. So if you wish to keep :deadhorse :wiggle: :flipoff3: I'd suggest you go look at some :boobies: :boobies: but wiht your being a flaming :supergay: :asshat:
would not be interested in those or know what do to with 'em!!! :rofl: :lmao:

[FAUX X 4]

radar for- :bs: wh ybecause I happened to see a thread on the main brd? :stfu: AS I stated before, I was only making you aware of their gender, thats all. If you continue to find it necessary to badger on that, be my guest. So if you wish to keep :deadhorse :wiggle: :flipoff3: I'd suggest you go look at some :boobies: :boobies: but wiht your being a flaming :supergay: :asshat:
would not be interested in those or know what do to with 'em!!! :rofl: :lmao:

:deadhorse :deadhorse :deadhorse :deadhorse :flipoff4: http://members.cox.net/brandon250r/smilies/blowme.gif

[TBob]

what's with the fag thread?

[Kaistie]

what's with the fag thread?
I know Huh? What's with all the pillow biting talk?

[grumpy]

I know Huh? What's with all the pillow biting talk?

what, remind you of you college days!!!!! :rofl: :lmao: :eek: :D

[TBob]

didn't Micheal Jackson start the one?

That's ironic considering the whole "Melts in your mouth, not in your hands" campaign!!! :D

[4xClover]

didn't Micheal Jackson start that one?

Ohhh Bob...that's just wrong - Funny - but wrong! :D

[FAUX X 4]

didn't Micheal Jackson start the one?

I think he just had a "Bluelight Special" like K-mart........ boy's underwear, half off. :eek: