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NEVER SERIOUS
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363 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Garge was walking along George Street late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty dollars..."she whispers.

He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides, what the heck, it's only twenty bucks.

They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.... it's a police officer.

"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my wife," Garge answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Well," Garge says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in her face".
 

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NEVER SERIOUS
Joined
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363 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Fly in Beer





A Torontrian, a Nova Scotian, and an old Newfie went into a bar and each ordered a beer. Each found a fly in their beer.

The Torontrian looked in his beer and said, "Hey bartender I have a fly in my beer. Give me another beer."

The Nova Scotian looked in his beer, found the fly, reached in an picked it out and continued drinking.

The old Newfie looked in his beer, saw the fly, grabbed it by the wings, shook it over the glass and yelled, "Spit it out!"
 

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NEVER SERIOUS
Joined
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363 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
A NEWFOUNDLAND LOVE POEM

(And who said Newfoundlanders weren't romantic?)

Of course I loves ya darlin'

Yer a bloody top notch bird

And when I says yer gorgeous

I means every single word

So yer arse is on da big side

I don't mind a bit o' flab

It means dat when I'm ready

Dere's somethin dere to grab

So yer belly isn't flat no more

I tells ya, I don't care

So long as when I cuddles ya

I can get me arms round dere

I'm tellin' ya da truth now

I never tells ya lies

I tink its very sexy

Dat you've got dimples on yer thighs

I swear on me grannies grave

From da moment dat we met

I thought you was as good as

I was ever gonna get

No matter what you looks like

I'll always love ya dear

Now shut ya yap, cuz da hockey's on

And get me a nudder beer!
 

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NEVER SERIOUS
Joined
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363 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
A group of Newfies went moose hunting and split up into paires for the day. That night, one of the hunters, Garge, returned alone, staggering under the weight of a large bull moose.



The others asked "Where's Ted?"



"Ted had a stroke or some thing and died. I left him a couple of miles back up the trail."



"You left Ted laying out there and carried the moose back?!!"



"It was a tough call," nodded Garge, "but I figured no one is going to steal Ted."
 
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