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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
if you could read this, and tell me how it is becuase i have a timed writtign on this and im going to memorize this...im in 10 grade(sophmore) in highschool taking modern world history cp so dont grade to hard.

the prompt is: how did capital investment affect economic, social and political developments in teh early and later industrial age?

Industrial capital essay

Capital fueled the Industrial Revolution and allowed it to grow faster and developed history. Capital is the collecting of money to be used for the new enterprises such as factories and railroads. Without capital, new entrepreneurs would never take the risk because they wouldn’t have the money to back them up. Capital not only affected the social aspect, but also the political and economic.

Capital affected the political aspect because it made the rich richer and the poor get even poorer. To make this problem worse, the rich exploited the poor even more just to gain more money. The working class still made money just not as much as the rich did. To fix this problem, the working class developed labor unions or groups of workers who defended their rights if they were treaded unfairly. After all capital is money and the rich has most of the capital. Later in the revolution the distinction between the poor and rich became clear and new social order came.

When urbanization started to occur and new jobs sprouted, more entrepreneurs collected money and invested it in more things. One important thing invested in was factories. Factories developed 2-10 times faster than humans because of the assembly line and the use of machines. Soon, trade was stopped being taxed and got faster because of the money for capital. Later in the revolution, money for cars, rail roads, canals, and engines were being put together. The steam engine was one of the least expected, but most important invention in history, thanks to capital.

Lastly, capital fixed the social aspect by having higher living standards and more money. The working class started to be educated and have better hygiene. It made people actually want to work, because now they could succeed up into a different social class, unlike before. Later in the revolution even higher standards were for both the working class and the middle/high classes. Even the working class had enough money to buy cars, and their objects; this was basically there first rewards for all their hard work.

In the beginning, capital only benefited the rich substantially while the working class kept working. People were either rich or poor, but soon this would change. The poor started to get money and buy new items to have better living conditions. They started to get educated at public schools and have new standards. Capital helped make this happen.
 

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It has a bunch of run-on sentences and is missing a whackload of comma's. I would proof read it for you, but I work in 6 hours and need to get some sleep. If its still here tomorrow I will fix it all up for you.

Its not bad "as is" though.
 

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as mush as i disagree with most of what you have written (are you from San Fransisco?) you posted in a great place to get input. just read it to yourself outloud and change the mistakes that you catch. you want papers to read like a concise conversation. you seem to have taken on a very disputable topic, but i think most teachers will invite and enjoy your perspective. just iron out the kinks and you will get a good grade.
 

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I would recommend that you pick a particular industry, railroad would be a good good choice IMO. Concentrate on how that industry developed and how the unions were involved. I am probably missing something, but when did you address the political aspects of the subject(other than taxes)?
 

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you do realise that if you spent your time on homework help sites instead of offroading sites you would not need us to help you
 

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Aside from spelling and punctuation errors, I see that you have no specific direction with the paper. You need to focus on a particular point and then effectively explain your point. Research your use of "affect vs. effect".

For example, IMO, I would state... due to the specific aspects of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries such as rapid population growth, high unemployment rates, and increasing industrial technologies capital investment was all that was necessary to create an industrial revolution.

Capital investment was only one component of the "Industrial Revolution", it also required huge amounts of very poor immegrants, modern manufacturing technologies such as the assembly line and factory machinery, and demand for the huge influx of new products that were being manufactured. The economy could only grow as fast as the demand for the products. Therefore, social conditions needed to change in order to convince the working poor that they needed things such as cars, washing machines, etc. that they had gone without previously.

Capital investment is also a critical component in that as business' grew, so did the need for employees, equipment and supplies... that created more jobs which put more money into the hands of the lower class. Thus, giving them the ability to buy more of the items that were considered to be luxury (non-essential) items by society. Thus, increasing capital investment to keep up with the newly created and growing demand. The politics of the time seem to have promoted those with the means of production at the expense of the workers. Thus, leading to the popularity of labor unions which could better politically represent the working class that was being exploited by the upper class.

There is a limit to this cycle of prosperity, as levels of production bypass the market demand the cycle falls apart, as seen in 1929 with the Stock Market Crash and Great Depression.

Thats a ton of information... use half of it and you will get an A :)
 

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Revolution

Based off that you may want to be a little bit more specif on the dates. The impression I got from the article: the industrial revolution started before cars were being produced lol. So you may want to add dates to be specific. The article also implied that exactly when the ind. revo. started is somewhat subjective.

Being that your a soph. in high school, I'm not ganna hold it against you lol. Like most of the others, yeah you need to reread it and check the grammer and what not.

I'm not sure if there is some specific writing format for you, but basically what I THINK you should do is ahve a short intro paragraph stating the problem, contributing factors, and what started to change (not necessarily the result). A idea concluding sentense off my head for a intro paragraph could be '...based off these factors, labor unions opened up financial opportunities for the lower class.' Or something along the lines.

Then have a few body paragraphs going in a order, best choice would likely be to place them in the order of events. For a paper discussing unions, for example; off the top of my head:
Par. 1-state the problem
Par. 2-Discuss the incoming of the unions
Par. 3-Discuss the result of unsions
You metioned unions so I guess this may be of some benefit, I was unclear on the direction of the paper as well.

Then some conclusion, I guess basically recap the events in some short short summary. I havent ever had much of a Idea of how to write a effective concluding paragraph, but they have worked out relatively well.

Thats what I think that is the general layout that you paper should have, as well as most papers. Intro brings up the topic, body gives the details, conclusion gives the result.

Although I doubt you will rewrite the paper, at leat do a bit of grammatical changes and try to order the events a little better.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
ya, I re read it after i put it on, i didnt turn this in, what i had to do was use an outline i made for this essay and then fill in the blanks for a timed writting in class essay for memorization. so all the gramatical errors are fine, and you dont need to correct me jessevic, thanks though.

-david
 

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I know what capital is, but the way the outline is written, it really sounds like it could go either way.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
stu said:
So is this about Capital, as in money, or capitalism?
capital is money invested in new enterprises, to make more money.
this is how capital affected those 3 areas i talked about.

if you dont get that, think of it like this: Capital=Power, and the rich has most of the capital. the rich exploit the poor, but soon they form labopr unions and etc... its long
 

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exploit or hire and give money? are you being exploited when you do your chores ie. take out the garbage wash the dishes? maybe, if you want to make a case of it. everyone in our society gets the chance to invest their earned money into their own endeavors, some chose to work at a low income risk free jobs all their life, some start successful businesses and some fail in business. its free trade and its what hads made the U.S. the most powerful nation in the world. now you can look at socialism for instance, there just may be a case of exploitation from the government going on..... I'm bored, just felt like enlightening some of the youth of America.
 
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